The Curious Case of Honey Nut Cheerios and Carmelo Anthony

honey nut“Call me Cheerios, the way I nut in these honeys”–a rap line from a friend many years ago.

Last night, during the contentious basketball game between Kevin Garnett and Carmelo Anthony, KG apparently said to Melo that LaLa, Carmelo’s wife, “tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios.”

Wait, what?!

Aside from being oh so thought-provoking (what does that even mean?), the comment was easily one of the most disrespectful ways to imply sexual infidelity with the utterance of a cereal, beloved by many and recommended by doctors.

KG forced Melo’s hand. There was nothing for Carmelo to do but react. If he did not react, then he would be deemed soft and dishonorable for being cuckold’d (real word, look it up). Thus, he reacted. He and KG both received technical fouls as they continued to jaw and taunt each other during the fourth quarter.

Yet, that was not enough for Melo. Nope. Not even close.

After the game, after the cold showers have been taken and fresh clothes adorned, Melo waits for Garnett outside of the Boston team bus. Yes, you read that right. Melo, wearing a burgundy beanie and clothes that I probably cannot pronounce nor afford (*patiently waits for that tax return money*), waited to “talk” with KG.

Camelo, as a man I understand how your mind must have been confused after Garnett’s comment. It was probably completing awash with hatred if Honey Nut Cheerios was your favorite cereal (sidenote: you must denounce all love and affection for Honey Nut Cheerios…It’s so necessary). As a veteren disser, I’ve spent countless hours going back and forth with friends and enemies alike alluding to outrageous claims and never once heard, “[insert name] tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios.” So, I get it. You wanted clarification about KG’s comment (what does that even mean?). But as a potential NBA MVP candidate, leading your team beyond many’s expectations, this faux bravado misfits and, more importantly, is despicably unbecoming. Let me be clear, the incident is down right ugly. And it is even uglier because you play in the media capital of the world, where every mole hill is made to be Mount Everest.

Solution: Throw out all Honey Nut Cheerios from your house. Never eat it again…like ever. Your child should never from this day forward know the sweet joy what it tastes like. And make sure that KG has never liked one of LaLa’s pictures on Instagram because we all know that those likes are really heart-shaped thirst torpedos, begging for attention. And remember, you must turn down any endorsement deals from Honey Nut Cheerios. In fact, just leave the cereal money pile alone.

Looks like Garnett already had it anyway.

KG

 

Where Would I Be Without Failure

failure gatesI shared the other day that I have been writing sporadically, but not posting them on the blog. Well here is a piece that I came across when re-reading some notes. I am on the admission committee for my school, and jotted this small note to myself after interviewing a student who impressed me with his confidence to take risks, something that I struggle with doing. While at camp, he decided to go on a three day rock climbing excursion with some boys that he did not know. He then shared that he was afraid of heights, and knew that he would have to trust these unfamiliar boys with his safety. Wait, what?! As a result of the trip, he is now an avid rock climber, going to different rock climbing gyms throughout the city. Additionally, he mentioned that because of the experience, facing his fears and trusting others even though failure was a strong possibility, he knows that he can overcome other obstacles, simply because he did it. He looked his fear in the eye and won. In my heart, I know that even if he lost somehow, he would have still won.

He’s 14. I’m 29.

He taught me in that moment.

I’m 29. He’s 14.

I learned from him in that moment.

When I left the interview, I hurriedly scribbled in my notepad:

I wish I failed more often as a child so that I would not be as anxious as an adult. Confidence is born out of failure. When you fail, you realize that you are still alive. As a result, you become less anxious because you’ve survived before and will survive again. Too often adults try to protect students and kids from failing. In doing so, they actually damage them in a way that becomes much more difficult to repair as adults.

Sidenote: I recently started a t-shirt business, Ambitious Addicts, with my friend and our motto for the company is: Do trust failures.

A New Year Has Begun

2013

“Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself.” -Aisha Elderwyn

Thanks to my mentor and friend who sent me this message to start the year. My resolution, which will be challenging, is to just be me…consistently. That’s going to be the hardest part, consistency.

I haven’t written in a while…well…that’s not entirely true. I have been writing, but I have not posted or shared them on this blog because it received a fair amount of internet traffic when I posted the cuffing season calendar. The increased attention spooked me because folk were visiting my site solely for something that I did not create. The increased daily views were unearned and I responded negatively to it; I simply stopped writing, waiting for the day the numbers would drop off. During that waiting period, I developed the unhealthy habit of not writing. Thus, when the hyper popularity of the cuffing season calendar ended, I continued my new learned behavior and wrote nothing. I’m sorry I did because I felt the absence of writing, a time to clear my mind and be honest with myself in a way that I find difficult to achieve during the other twenty three hours of a day.

As a result, my cluttered mind thankfully enjoys my pushing of marked alphabetical keys. My soul craves the purge and release.  So let me begin with a short piece I wrote during a pre-conference exercise that challenged the participants to think about their system of beliefs, faith, and religion:

My system of beliefs leads to believe that love is paramount, failure and mistakes are essential, and judgement and shame destroys each.

While there is an increased introspection present (sidenote: shamefully, as a nation, we are most introspective during the last few days of the year and the first few days of a new year, leaving the other 360+ days barren of self-examination…yet, we entrust ourselves to somehow make improvements during that time…nonsensical logic), I ask you, will you accept the challenge and just be you in 2013?