Different Versions of Her

She “defriended” me on Facebook; well, she did the same thing too. At least, her email explained it had to do with her current relationship; she was proactively avoiding any problems. Her intentions were the same, except I do not use Facebook like that and would never say anything to hamper the relationship I did not receive an email from her. I actually sent her a email because I was shocked when I realized that we were no longer friends. I really liked her; she was my homegirl. Who am I kidding? Since we were no longer romantically involved, we had stopped being friends. The “kicking it” stopped.  I guess we couldn’t even be fake friends via social media. *shrug* There are no more early morning or late night texts. “Damn, you’ve been single for a while now,” she commented. I mustered a smile in response. They celebrated their anniversary together. He gave her something that I did not; maybe I could have if…She recently broke up with her man and wants to see me again. Her form fitting dress impresses. She only sees me when she wants. I saw a recent picture of her. We looked so happy together back then. She called me the other day, and asked why I don’t call her more often. I look forward to her call. I’m tempted to call her more often but know that it would not do either of us any good. The timing is not right. We don’t text like we did in the beginning. I apparently have a special ringtone on her phone, but she forgot what it is since I don’t call. I was shocked that we spoke on the phone and actually talked to each other. She got married. She gets angry at me easily. She wasn’t ready for me. I never heard from her again. We spoke for a few minutes about her trust issues with her current boyfriend. She just wants to have fun. She ignores my texts. I still remember her one kiss. She confessed she wants more. Her silent response to my response spoke volumes. We pretend like that time never happened. I stopped waiting for her. She wrote me a note expressing her hopes for our future. I never wrote back. She stopped waiting for me. I don’t blame her and I hope she doesn’t blame me, though I’m sure our failed love connection is my fault. She told me that it was. She said that she misses me. I haven’t seen her in a while. I was not ready for her.

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2 thoughts on “Different Versions of Her

  1. This is deep for several reasons and my commentary could probably spark 10 million more blog post! You appear to be a very passionate person and I’m a firm believer that when the right version of her comes along, your dedication, compassion, persistence and desire will be limitless. I think the best relationships are when we can act like lovers but also like best friends so if any of your versions of HER are worth the energy, invest the time cultivating that friendship. Here is a quote I found recently that spoke volumes:

    “Right person, Wrong time
    Right time, Wrong person
    New person, Old lines
    Old person, New lies”

    May you win the war on LOVE :p

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