Why I Write

I like mirrors. No, seriously, I like mirrors. If I see a mirror, I always try to steal a glance. Always.

Let me clarify. I am not Narcissus, idly gazing at my reflection. Yet, I always look. Always.

At college, there is a building whose ground floor windows double as a block long mirror for those on the street, outside of the classrooms. Screw a wall mirror or those clumsy oblong rectangular shape mirrors for $10 that all college students buy and hang or place randomly in their dorm room. Was that on everyone’s freshman college list of what to bring/buy your first week, along with an egg crate mattress pad for those suspiciously NOT extra long twin mattresses which Bed, Bath, and Beyond claimed regular twin sheets would not fit, so you had to go out and buy a whole new sheet set? It was all a hustle conspiracy engineered by colleges. Sorry, I digress.

I would challenge myself everyday not to look at myself in the building’s glass, and I failed miserably the majority of the time. As I reminisce, I realize that I never looked at myself for a long time. Why?

Maybe I was aware that others would judge me.
Maybe I was aware that it was narcissistic and wanted to avoid the negative connotation and be a better person.
Maybe I was aware of the absurdity of walking a block with my head turned to one side while not looking at someone, other than myself.

There is a poem, “Man in the Mirror” “The Guy in the Glass
There is also this amazing Michael Jackson song

Both the poem and the song illustrate the proper use of a mirror and its reflective power. The mirror provides the opportunity for reflection on a deeper level, one with a more meaningful purpose. Here is where Narcissus failed; he only looked in the lake to see his beauty reflected back to him. He missed the ugliness with which he treated others. Here too is where I recognized my own failing; I only glanced in the mirror long enough to see my outfit or my smile. I never gazed at myself, at the man in the mirror or glass or whatever reflective surface.

And this is why I write; writing is my mirror. For some, it is music or dance or art or athletics. For me, it is the written word.

I write to get a better understanding of me. I write to ‘make sense’ of my experiences and feelings. I write to clear my thoughts and ideas, and in that cleaning and adjusting process, become me. I write because…of me. Vanity with a purpose!

It is is my sincerest wish and want that as I write blog, I will engage and challenge my readers’ thoughts and ideas and help them better understand themselves. In this same space, I hope that my readers can do the same for me.